UNDERSTAND

UNDERSTAND invites curiosity about a response rather than a quick verdict about your character. What expectations, feelings, experiences or practical circumstances may have contributed to this moment?

There may be several explanations. Exhaustion, an unclear request, a history of criticism, workload, an unequal relationship or an actual disrespectful interaction can matter. Understanding does not require finding one hidden childhood cause.

• Assumptions and expectations behind a response.
• The difference between a possible explanation and a confirmed fact.
• Your part, the relationship and the wider circumstances.
• What a familiar response may be protecting or achieving.

You agree to another task and later feel resentful. You may fear disappointing your colleague, but the workplace may also expect unreasonable availability. A useful exploration considers both the habit of saying yes and the conditions making it difficult to decline.

Describe one event from three angles: what was happening for you, what was happening between the people involved, and what in the setting affected the choices available. List two possible explanations before settling on one. Ask a clarifying question where it is appropriate and safe.

• What did I assume this situation meant?
• What else might explain my response?
• What conditions would need to change as well as my behaviour?

Understanding can inform responsibility without excusing harm. You can acknowledge an influence and still choose what to do next. INTERRUPT focuses on finding room for that choice.